Yesterday was a day where my mental plans did not go as planned.
For the good and for the worse.
Planned to have Thai food at around 3 but was brought forward. Good and bad.
Good, saved $. Had some nibble of tomyam and somtam.
Walked all the way back again.
that guy made a comment that I looked like I just woke up from a sleep.
Today my other friend for Comm Tech said that I looked tired.
Face problem. Health problem. Transport problem (from the time I leave campus to the time I reach home…there’s this 2 hour interval in between.)
got the results for English.
how is 82 even a A-? Back then it would be a C.
Was discouraged and down. It wasn’t what I had expected.
And the lecturer’s comments about people sitting at the back and talking and chances of them failing proved invalid.
The people who sat infront got the lower marks (I’m one of them). I moved to the second row a few days ago because I felt like it, thank God I changed (this is debatable still, urgh INFP and seeing many sides of a argument). I said that I wanna change my feng shui, was I being “prophetic” then? The reason was that I am tired of sitting next to that guy who irritates me by being himself; critical of others when he is no better and worse, making random comments, and acts something like me, and every time when he laughs which is almost every class, there will be a point where it is conchiferous. And the face problem.
Anyways, so what if I know about the stuffs of English. I can’t write properly…yet. I have yet to learn to write well for technical essays. Though personality plays a huge role, I should learn to overcome these. But the thing is that I don’t see the meaning of analyzing stories and novels, I face difficulties writing it eloquently like how others do. I have to learn to write in pen. I shall attribute this to personality as well [ok take this as an introspection], because it is said that INFP have a tendency to make a through research before starting, or have trouble coming up with a thesis statement because they see many sides to the argument, we also have problems formulating a conclusive thesis statement in a short time. Thats what they say, I was reading about it when I was having lunch -the huge sausage that I had been meaning to try. This was manifested many times as I would erase again and again and I take a longer time to write. This reminded me of the Writer’s Craft class I had to dropped for this semester because of English. We were asked to evaluate ourselves – what are our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing. I hope Mr. M.A. is the teacher for the next sem’s class. I only answered the weakness section, I said that I take a longer time to write because I tend to think more…the next time I am asked this question, I shall add, because I am an INFP.
The lecturer did not like my work as much, scored 17.5 out of 25s. When I asked how should I improve my score after class was over, he said he needs to go and insert the marks for the report.
My good friend treated me one of my fav sesame dessert, to celebrate our results…to cheer us up. Hah. =D I bought seaweed. I shall buy the Za Jiang Mien today…
Then, when I got back I learnt that my mother’s family is going out for a birthday dinner for my grandmother. I brought my ISU to read though. Antisocial much. Still. Then my eldest’s uncle family came to my house and I had a good chat with my cousin, who was at the dinner. The only exchange we had during dinner was “Boo!”
Then I was too tired to stay up to do my work. I had planned to finish the ISU yesterday because I have a quiz for I.B. tomorrow.
And oh, yesterday, we were suppose to present what we wrote – the theme and characters of two short stories. My group mates asked me to do it and I did it. I was a little reluctant as I was tired. My opening was bad….it was so incoherent. It was an INFP problem. I rephrased my sentence out loud at least 4 times.
I only read out one essay when we did four. The next group actually did a presentation (with Power Points) on the theme and characters of the two short stories. The lecturer said that they didn’t need to but … he went on talking about how in university, there will be people who will outperform their peers because they go beyond.
They continued with it today and I was quite turned off by it. I was quite a rebel today, I read my ISU while they were presenting and I think I looked exceeding annoyed.
The moment my lecturer announced that the due date for the ISU is changed from tomorrow to either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday (depending on when he return our Part 2 ISU), I felt liberated and not so heavily burdened. My classmate said to me, “God hears our prayers.”
I can study for IB at peace now. Had planned to study at 4, now its 4.21.
I think writing is a form of catharsis for me. Maybe because the feelings within is now free because I liberated them through writing. Some days ago, I wrote out the negative words said to me and negative thoughts that I had. And it felt good…to have them written out and have them staring at me rather than keeping them inside.
I just emptied the battery life out of this laptop.